I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
