i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
