im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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