Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
