Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
