oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
