i don't like sucking hair
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's blow job season.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
