I got chris browned last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
