Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
