yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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