I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
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