I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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