i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
