so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
