you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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