I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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