btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
