i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
