Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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