we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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