No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
