I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dignity is for republicans.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
