those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
