I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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