My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
