also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
