dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
