Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
