after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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