I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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