I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
