yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My hand turned me down
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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