Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
