Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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