is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
