My friends, they love my intelligence
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
