And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
