don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think i got beer on your cat.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
