I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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