Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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