Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
