I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
