All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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