Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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