Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
