If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
