Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
