All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
