During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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