What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
