A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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